Accepting autism when you just want what everyone else has.

I video popped up on my facebook timeline this evening. It’s a short promo for the tv show John Bishop, in coversation with….this weeks promo features Paddy Mcguinness talking about his child with autism. Something he admits he struggled to accept at the time of diagnosis.
He talks about seeing a kid pestering his dad in the supermarket and teh dad was dismissive of his son’s request for a yogurt. Paddy says he thought to himself how lucky that dissmissive father was to be able to have that kind of experience with his child. I know I’m not the only Autism parent who knows EXACTLY how Paddy feels!
Something as simple and mundane as shopping with the kids, an activity many parents actually dread due to the constant demands of their brood ‘chirping’ for all kinds of fgoodies, becomes a mamoth task full of stress for autistic families. At best you can get in grab what you need and get out with the occasional pang of envy at someone’s child whining about wanting a comic or crisps. At worst you have to abandon the shopping trolley mid aisle and leave via the nearest exit with half the store staring as you try to carry/drag your overwhelmed child outside.

Autism acceptance is growing all the time but I think it’s fair to say that even the most loving inclusive parent occasionally find themselves wishing life could be just a little more ‘normal’ whatever that means?
Simple things like hearing a child coming out of school and talking about their day is so hard for me to cope with. My boy is 6 years old and has never uttered a word other than repeating the mumumumum babble of a young baby. I never get to hear what he’s been up to in class or how he fell off the climbing frame and bumped his knee. I can only dream of having him pester me constantly to get his own way or tell me aboutr the jigsaw he did at school or simply ask for drink without me having to guess if he’s thirsy or not!
Autism acceptance is a wonderful thing, quiet shopping hours and the like unlock a huge range of opportunities for autistic children and adults to experience but I think it’s important to recognise how hard it can be for parents of children with autism to accept that this is the diagnosis for their child and that they might never get to have the experiences that ‘normal’ families will.

I am not ashamed to admit that I still have days where I struggle to accept that this is my life now. I know my husband does too. It doesn’t make us bad parents. It’s just part of the journey. I knew from a very early age that an ASD diagnosis was on the cards for my son. I was the one that pushed for an early assesment, against my GP’s argument that it was too early to tell. I fully expected the diagnosis we got at his assesment……that doesn’t mean it didn’t hit me like a brick wall and I didn’t cry in the car on the way home.
Sometimes accepting autism is hard…..even when you love that person completely.

I am looking forward to watching Paddy’s interview tomorrow evening and I know I won’t be the only sat blubbing into tissues as I relate to his struggles.

John bishop, in conversation with….Paddy Mcguinness airs on W channel at 10pm tomorrow (Thursday) night.

A RANT ABOUT WEIGHT LOSS

A RANT ABOUT WEDDINGS AND WEIGHT LOSS

I think it’s really sad when a girl writes a fb post asking for help to lose weight for her wedding in 3 weeks and wants information on fasting becasue she needs to lose weight fast.
I won’t go into details of the post but some of the info she posted was ringing alarm bells to me and I think professional help is needed but she’s getting 1 reply suggesting eating small healthy meals several times a day for every 5 messages that suggest some insane fad diet that, to me, makes the menu on america’s biggest loser sound like a menu for come dine with me!
I know I sell weight loss products and I know a lot of other ladies in the same group do and I have to say it has made me pretty proud that actually none of them have jumped on this girl and offered to sell to her to get a quick sale.
I was no supermodel on my wedding day, I still look back at my photos and cringe at the cellulite and the back fat and I remember the run up to the big day and the struggle I had with myself daily about how I was gonna look in my dress and what people would think I looked like.

Nice flattering shot for the abum :/
Check out that back fat!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Do you know what actually bothered me most on the day though? The fact I had lost a bit too much weight and my bloody dress (even at it’s tightest setting) kept slipping down!
Yes I have back fat and chubby orange peel arms in my wedding photos and yes my dress looks a bit crooked in a couple but in every single one I have a gorgeous husband with the biggest smile on his face (I do too in the ones I’m not stuffing my face with cake and chocolate strawberries! Don’t judge me! It was my wedding day and I regret nothing. 😀 ) and I had a wonderful day filled with love and family and friends!

It’s my wedding day I’ll eat crap if I want to!

 

My advice for anyone stressing about how you look for your wedding?
You’re having a wedding! That means someone loves you EXACTLY as you are now. They love you enough to want to commit to spending the rest of their time on this Earth with you! They aren’t gonna be fussed if you weigh less or more in 3 weeks or 30 years.

They love you now!

You don’t need to change because of what other people will think. Believe me when I say life is too short! Marry the person you love, be happy and eat the cake because if you’re happy and in love you already look bloody amazing!!

New year….new me – My new year resolutions and how I plan to stick to them.

2017 is soooo last year!

Today is the 1st day of a brand new year and it’s also a Monday. I don’t know about you but that just feels so right. I love the fresh feeling of a new week and to have it sync up with the new year pleases the crazy little lady that lives in my brain.

It’s the time of year to look back on the past and see where you can  make changes to improve your life going forward.
This year my goals are:

Lose weight (I know it’s a standard one but trust me it’s happening!)
Procrastinate less
Be more grateful
Make more ‘me’ time
Be more organised

Last year left me feeling like a clown juggling too many balls!
I was doing a but of everything and failing at them all.

This year is all about focus. Getting one thing sorted before moving onto something else.
Starting with this blog!

I thought blogging would be easy and I could bang out a post a day every day no problem…….yeah not so much!

So the plan is 1 new post a week with a bonus sharing Sunday post once a month.
That way I won’t burn out or run out interesting things to say or share with you.

Bring on the Bikinis!

Next is losing weight.
My plan was to get myself a Clean 9 cleanse to give me a kick up the backside and reset my systems ready to drop a couple of stone in time for summer.
Unfortunately I am still being held hostage to an adorable, tiny human who is still demanding I feed her millk twice a day at nap times so tha’s out for another month or so 🙁
So it’s off to Slimming world I go! Starting on Saturday I’ll be registering for the 3rd (and final) time. I’ve got rougly 8 stone to lose as I type this and it’s all gonne be shifted by this time next year!

Down the rabbit hole

Most of my procrastination coems from falling down rabbit holes in facebook or youtube land and I plan on doing less of it this year. I downloaded the book Eat That Frog!: Get More of the Important Things Done – Today! about 3 months ago and haven’t ggot round to reading it yet – Oh the irony!  Anyhoo I’ll be getting that ticked of my list this month.

Pamper Me!

I spend a lot (who am I kidding I spend ALL) my time running aorund doing stuff for others and I’ve spent most of the latter part of teh year felling run donw and being ill becasue of it. I’m getting grey hairs and I feel like I’ve aged about 10 years in 12 months.
This year I am taking a couple of hours every week just for me.
It could be getting my hair done, soaking in teh bath with a face mask or jusytspending an extra hour in bed sleeping or reading. Me time is importnant and I’m not going to neglect myself and end up ill again next christmas!

Pulling it all together

So to get all these big plans to come together I need to be more organised! I’ve got a calendar on teh wall, a weekly planner and a pretty new sparkly diary to keep in my bag so if stuff comes up while I’m out and about I can still keep track of whats happening when.

So this is my master plan to success in 2018.
I’ll keep you posted on how it’s going.

All the best for this shiny new year 🙂
B

xx

 

 

 

 

One of those weeks……but I’m still working hard and trying to save you some money!

Do you ever get days where it feels like everything is against you?
Having had the mindset training I have I know to try and look for the positives but let’s be honest life isn’t a bunch of roses for anybody no matter how strong their positive mindset!

This week my gratitude journal has been getting half a page entries rather than the full page I strive for each day.
It feel like I’ve had everything thrown at me this week!
Hubby’s cousin who inspired me to write a post about grabbing life with both hands and living the fuck out of it lost her 4 year long fight with cancer, my wonderful mother in law has been poorly and needed an operation, my Nan had a fall and broke her hip, the kids have been ill non stop all week and Pud had some tests done and I have to wait all weekend to find out why the dr needs to talk to me about the results!

Having to deal with all that is basically the reason the posts have been a bit thin on the ground lately. (Don’t even get me started on the weight loss plan! It’s gone the wrong way completely!)

On the plus side, I’ve been trying to keep myself occupied by planning some exciting new photoshoots and launching my new money saving shopping group on Facebook!
The plan is to try and bring you money saving offers and gift ideas for those hard to buy for people in your life.
Check out the page here: The Hopeless Housewife Shopping Group

I’m hoping that normal service will be resumed next week…that said, I did name this blog the hopelss housewife for a reason……just saying 😉

Now is your chance – I am proof a 30 day guide could change your life for the better.

This post contains affliiate links.

I shared a post a while back about how I get myself motivated on a Monday morning. (ICYMI it’s this one)
I developed my morning routine after some coaching with the amazing Niyc Pidgeon. Niyc is a Positive Psychologist MSc, Global Success Coach, and as of yesterday, a published Hay House Author!
I have just ordered her book Now Is Your Chance 
for myself and I am excited to get stuck into her 30-day guide.

Niyc Pidgeon Changed my life.
Niyc’s book is available now.

Having had actual real-life coaching from Niyc herself I can say from experience that the title: Now Is Your Chance: A 30-Day Guide to Living Your Happiest Life Using Positive Psychology isn’t
just a tagline to grab your attention. 30 Days of coaching with Niyc sent me off in a direction I never thought I would have the confidence to take!

I was struggling with my confidence in my network marketing business which was the reason I wanted to get involved with the coaching programme. What actually happened though was during the 30 days and working on the tasks Niyc set I realised it wasn’t just my business that was making me miserable. It was a whole bunch of things and the best bit was I was given the skills to re-evaluate what my goals were and how to make small changes to my life and my mindset to make those new, exciting goals far more reachable!

Following the simple steps, set out by Niyc, for 30 days gave me the tools I needed to shift my mindset into a more positive state. Don’t get me wrong I still have bad days, but there are definitely fewer of them now!

The shift in confidence saw me actaully take a step back from my Network marketing business and do something I had always dreamed of but had never been confident enough to do….Start a photography course and become a paid, professional, photographer!
So far it’s going pretty well too! 6 months in and I’ve had paid clients and new enquiries coming in regularly and I’ve even shot my first wedding (which was terrifying, but ultimately successful!)

It was a twist I never saw coming to be honest but I’m now doing something I love and getting paid for it and I truely believe it was down to Niyc’s coaching. It was the catalyst I needed to change my thinking and change my life for the better.

I can’t wait to get my hands on my copy tomorrow becasue I know it’s going to cement the habits I’ve already gained from coaching sessions in the past and if you take the chance to order a copy I’d love to know what you think and if it changes your life too!

B x

 

 

 

Save

How to clean up when you don’t know where to start.

This post contains affiliate links, which means I receive a small commission if you make a purchase using some of the links on this page.

 

Cleaning sucks! I hate it! No really….I’d rather sit naked on hot coals than have to scrub my toilet and do the 2 billion loads of laundry that mount up every week!
I’m not proud of the photos I’m about to post. Frankly, they are damn right shameful!
The thing is though this is my reality. This is what happens to my house when I have 1 single day of crippling depression. The really debilitating kind that hits you from nowhere and means you can’t even bring yourself to get out of bed.

These pictures are what happens to my fairly tidy house if I can’t do anything at all for 24 hours!

My shameful kitchen
The bombsite I like to call my living room.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Don’t get me wrong my house is never showhome standards of tidy – I do have 3 kids after all!

My point is though that when it gets to this level of dirt and clutter I feel utter despair at how on earth I’m going to even make a dent in it.

I’ve read books on decluttering and cleaning and tried methods from big names such as FLY lady and KonMari. The problem is none of those methods work for me long term.
I’m still working on finding the long term cleaning habits that work, to be honest, but a couple that have struck a bit of a chord more than most are Unf*ck your habitat and 40 bags in 40 days.
It seems little and often is the key to success for me. Everyone has different triggers though so do what works best for you. I’m just going to share how I cope on my really bad days in the hope it might help even one person that is struggling with mess and doesn’t know where to start with cleaning and tidying.

My worst day method

When it’s all I can do to get out of bed in the morning I’m needing fast, simple wins that I can celebrate to get me back on track faster below is just my take on how I do that. I celebrate my first win before I even leave my room with the quickest, easiest cleaning win I can get…

Make your bed

Ok so on a bad day (or more accurately the day after my bad day) The first thing I do is get up and make my bed. If you don’t have sheets on it right now do your best to get some on it. It doesn’t have to be fancy and dressed with cushions and throws etc just get up straighten your pillows and flatten down the duvet.
Then give yourself a pat on the back for a job well done.
The reason I like to start with making the bed is because 1: it’s quick and easy so you can celebrate a win first thing in the morning which can set you up for a more positive day all round and 2: If you get nothing else done you can flop into bed at the end of the day and feel comfortable knowing you have accomplished something and then hopefully get a better nights sleep to take on another task and get yourself another win tomorrow. 🙂

Making your bed is a win….even if you’re a T rex and it takes you all day! 😉

 

 

Pick a surface, Any surface.

Once my bed is made I’m feeling ready to get myself a winning streak going. My next priority is having space to make food. Now as you can see above my kitchen is small, cluttered and doesn’t have anywhere near adequate storage! (If you look carefully you’ll notice my cutlery is stored on the dishwasher as there is not a single drawer in my badly designed kitchen!)
Now to tackle the whole kitchen in one go is asking for trouble. Unless I’ve got an hour or 2 free to get stuck in getting it fully clean and tidy is an unreachable target and remember we are looking for the small wins today.
So what I do is I pick up any obvious rubbish and bin it. this usually gives me enough space to put a dinner plate down and then I can really pick up the pace and get me some space to work!
I don’t worry about washing the dishes there and then. I simply stack them ready to be washed later. Dinner plates first, then side plates on top of those and bowls stacked on top of those. By the time I’ve gathered them and stacked them I have space to stack any trays and pans next to them and the cutlery on top of those. Bam! My kitchen worktop is halfway empty so I can wipe down a surface and make food when needed. Just like that, I’m on a winning streak.

If tackling your worktops feels too daunting right now pick a smaller surface to try and clear instead. Maybe a lamp table or a bedside table. Something small that you can clear off and clean the surface of will be another quick and easy win that can boost you and motivate you to keep up the good work. Throw any obvious rubbish and then try, if you are able, to sort through anything that’s left and decide if you want to keep it on display on that surface, move it to a new home or remove it from your home completely via the bin or by donating/selling it.
Once the surface is less cluttered you can wipe it down to remove dust. This can be as simple as using a piece of tissue if you don’t have anything else to hand.

If you’ve done all that in one go give yourself 5 minutes to rest and admire your awesome work! Feel proud of yourself that you have tackled 2 jobs on the housekeeping list andwon!

 

Resting is important too!

Make no mistake taking a break is vital to success. If you try and keep going and going and going eventually you are going to break. The reason I like Unf*@k your habitat so much is because it is where I discovered the 20:10 method of decluttering and cleaning and I love it to avoid burning out. Basically, you go for it with cleaning or tidying your chosen room or area of a room for 20 minutes and then you rest for 10 minutes. Repeat as required/  desired. The best bit with this method is that if you struggle for whatever reason with doing something for 20 minutes straight you can tweak it to suit your needs and ability. So maybe your pattern will be 15:10 or even 10:10. It might not work for you but I do recommend giving it a try. It helps me with the feeling of being overwhelmed when I have a lot to clean at once. I know I can just turn up my music and get whatever I can done for 20 minutes, then I can reward myself with a well-earned rest. It’s actually surprising how fast the time goes and how productive you can be in short bursts!

Aim for Progress, not perfect.

I am extremely fortunate to have the support I do from my husband and family. Yes, they trash the place when I am not around to pick up after them but actually having a day in bed helps me to reset my systems as it were so the next day I am better able to cope with the mess they leave in their wake. It still takes me a few days to get back on top of things though and even now a week on from my when those photos were taken I’m still not fully back on form with the cleaning schedule. My main goal each day is to keep everything I’ve done so far looking the same. That way if nothing else gets done I still have those few clear spots to look at for motivation.

If you got up today and tried to make a difference to your surrounding be sure to stop and celebrate the win! You’re awesome!

Don’t be disheartened if you can’t make massive changes overnight. Progress is perfect enough. No matter how small the step your taking is, be proud that you are taking it and moving forward to better things and if you’ve made your bed today know that I am proud of you and you are awesome! <3

 

Save

Lush review ( Update)

How has the magic sleep potion been going? I hear you all cry.

Honestly, it’s been going like this………

1 AM

 

 

3:15 AM

 

However………the day I decided to buy and try Lush’s Sleepy body lotion, Pip decided to wake up from a nap with a stinking cold! 🙁
I have to say though I still think it is helping! Obviously, it’s not a fair test right now so I’ll be waiting until the cold bug departs our house to give it a fair trial and see if it’s as good as it seems!

Product review – Lush Sleepy lotion (Part 1)

So as you may know if you follow me on Facebook.  

Pip is 1 year old and has never slept through the whole night. To say we are exhausted is an understatement! Her record so far is 11 times. That’s me getting out of bed to soothe her back to sleep 11 times in one 12 hour period!
Her average is 3- 4 times. She also seems to think that 3-4 AM is the best time to start the day!

Last night she went to bed at 8 PM, Woke at 11:30 PM and stayed awake until 3 AM.
During the late night playtime session, I decided to do some research and found many good reviews about Lush’s Sleepy body lotion. So in a hazy fog of sleep deprivation, I dragged my ass into town to get some of this, apparently magic, potion!

At £7.95 for a small (95g) pot, it’s not exactly a bargain…….that said, if it works I’d pay £50 for a small pot so it’s all relative I guess!

Sleepy lotion review (pt1)
Really hoping it’s a pot of magic sleeping potion!

It contains Oatmeal and Lavender and whilst I love the look of my beautiful lavender plant I am not a huge fan of the smell and I was expecting a strong waft of the purple plant-based cream to overpower me on opening the tub. Not so!
It’s a very light, quite thin lotion with a very pleasant sweet, subtle lavender scent that I’d actually be happy to use on myself too!

I’m going to be trying it out on Pip tonight and I’ll post a full review with the results in a couple of days! Wish us luck! 🙂

Tomorrow is never promised – Stop wasting time and do it now!

I’m fast approaching my 37th birthday. For the past 3 years, I’ve told myself, it’s ok that I’ve not pushed myself to achieve everything I wanted this year I’ve got years ahead of me yet. I’ll do it next year.
Thing is, tomorrow is never promised!

Stop wasting time - Do it NOW!

A few days ago I was told my husband’s cousin, a beautiful mum of 6 young children is being ‘made comfortable’ after a few years of kicking cancer’s arse!
We weren’t particularly close but I had attended a fundraising event for her a couple of years ago and we have met up at family event’s and she’s one of those awesome people that no matter what’s going on in her life she’d make time to help you and was always giving back to her local community.
This news has shaken me a lot. She’s younger than
me and her very bright future has now been ripped away by the horrendous disease that is cancer. It’s not right and it’s not fair and I’m so bloody angry that it is happening to her!

It’s time right now to decide to change your life!

I’m not talking about business as such (although for me it is time to start putting all the plans and talk into ACTION at last.)
Think about what it is that will truly make you happy. Work out what you need to do to make it happen and start working on it right NOW!
You don’t know what is around the corner.
Take the chances now and regret them later if you must.
Even now at the relatively young age, I am I still regret the things I haven’t done WAY more than the things I have done! (and believe me, there are some spectacular fails in my past! )
Stop thinking, start doing.
Your time is now!

GO!

Tomorrow is not promised - do it today!
Seize the day!

 

Isabella’s Wish – Raising money to help a little girl to walk like her twin sister.

This is a quick post to try help raise awareness for a little girl called Isabella, who lives close to me in Essex and is in need of donations to help fund her trip to the USA for surgery to help her to walk.

Isabella's Wish to walk - Helping raise funds for life changing surgery for this little girl
Isabella wants to be able to run and play with her siblings.

Isabella is an identical twin and was born prematurely.

After many months of appointments, tests and therapies she was diagnosed with Spastic Diplegia, a form of Cerebral Palsy.

Her family is raising money for her to travel to America for pioneering surgery that will allow her to walk and be just like her twin sister, Scarlett.

Her mum says “Isabella is a very happy and cheeky little girl. She has so much determination to walk and she just wants to be able to run and play with her siblings with ease. As a parent, it is very distressing to have to sit back and watch her struggle on a daily basis. We have made Isabella a promise to grant her of her wish to walk.”

If you would like to donate to Isabella’s wish you can do so here

You can keep up to date with Isabella’s journey on Facebook page below.

Website: Isabellaswish.org
Facebook: Isabella’s Wish to Walk
Just Giving page: Isabellaswishtowalk

Please donate if you are able to.
If you cannot donate you still help by sharing Isabella’s story so that other may be able to help.
Thank you
B xx

Save